4 Making a Statement: Scholarship Essays and Beyond
There are many different reasons to write in English: to explore your own identity and thoughts, to communicate practical information, to share observations or research findings, and, sometimes, to get money! In this chapter we will be covering the genre of personal statement for scholarship applications. Scholarship money is a gift to you, which you never have to pay back, unlike student loans, which you do have to repay. Students in the United States often apply for scholarships to help fund their college education, and knowing how to write an effective personal statement is the key to being successful in winning scholarship money. The best way to shine in a scholarship essay is to craft a personal story that shows how you have faced challenges and overcome them and to demonstrate that you have clear and attainable goals for your education and future. So let’s get started!
Chapter contents:
Knowing Yourself and Your Strengths
Knowing Yourself and Your Strengths
It is important in a scholarship essay that you tell a clear story of yourself: how your past experiences and challenges have shaped you, what your values are, and how your future goals are informed by your values and past experiences. In order to write clearly about these topics, it is important for you to “Know thyself,” as the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle once said. Watch the video below, “How to Believe in Yourself” by motivational speaker Jim Cathcart, to begin thinking about how to identify your strengths and tell your life story.
“How to Believe in Yourself” by Jim Cathcart, YouTube.com
After watching the video, spend some time journaling about the questions that Cathcart asks in his video:
- How are you smart?
- What do you care about? What are the values that motivate your choices?
- What is your past like? How has your past affected you, positively and/or negatively?
- What is your behavioral style? How do you come across to other people?
- What are the patterns in your choices?
- How do you envision yourself in the future?
Genre Analysis Activity
To become more familiar with the genre of scholarship essay writing, read these example scholarship essays. For this activity, you will analyze real examples of essays from students who have won scholarships at Kirkwood Community College. Before analyzing example essays, it is important to understand the guidelines for the scholarship essay. Every scholarship essay has its own guidelines, and these guidelines must be followed carefully in order to avoid disqualification.
Kirkwoood Community College Scholarship Essay Instructions:
The following instructions are copied from the Kirkwood scholarship application:
Provide a summary that includes:
Maximum length: 600 words. |
Additionally, a member of the scholarship review board wrote:
“When our scholarship committee members review applications they look for if the essay has been proofread for grammar/spelling, that the applicant is clear about an area of study (liberal arts or programming, for example) and their future plans (sees themselves working in a certain field/job or attending a 4-year college upon graduation, where they would like to live/work).” |
Example Scholarship Essays:
Example 1:
#1
I have a plethora of goals that I am chasing here at Kirkwood. One current one is maintaining my spot on the Dean’s List. Every semester I have been enrolled at Kirkwood I have been fortunate enough to earn this award, and my goal is to be on this level of academic proficiency the duration of my time here. Following Kirkwood, I will attend a four year institution preferably at a college that has a pharmacy program. I will continue my collegiate golf career as well as complete my bachelor degree with a major in Pre-Pharmacy and a minor in Business. Long term, I plan to attend graduate school to pursue a Doctorate of Pharmacy degree. Having this professional designation will give me the education needed to attain a high position in the pharmaceutical industry.
With any great achievement worth having, comes the struggle of attaining the skills needed for it. Through sports and academics, I have learned about this process of failure and learning that everyone goes through in this pursuit of greatness. I have fallen many times before in this process, however, there won’t be a day that I won’t rise up to meet this adversity head on, and grow as a person as a result of this.
Everyday I am very grateful for the opportunity to expand my education here at Kirkwood, and am aware of all the sacrifices that people close to me have made to get me to this point. I owe it to all those who have helped me become the person I am to take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to me. One of these opportunities is the chance to be selected for one of the many scholarships that Kirkwood offers. Scholarships are given to those who work for the great things in this world, and I believe I am one of those people who deserves this great opportunity of financial help.
Example 2:
My goal is to achieve an associates degree in nursing followed by a bachelors degree, allowing me to help individuals in my community during their time of need as a registered nurse. Eventually I would like to do volunteer nursing in areas around the world with a higher need of educated medical professionals than Iowa, but much more experience is needed before I can do that.
I want to do this because I use to work in restaurant kitchens for nearly 10 years, often as a pastry chef. I enjoyed the constant work that was never caught up, but in the end all I was really doing was helping wealthy people get diabetes at destination hotels around the world. Three years ago when I returned to Iowa after working in New Zealand, I decided to become a massage therapist. Massaging people is not as different from kneading bread dough as one would expect. It is a much more rewarding job that I still enjoy, but I feel my abilities to stay calm, while working quickly and proficiently on my feet during extended times of commotion are not being utilized. I believe nursing would be a much better use of my abilities, and desire to help people; and to be frank the insurance benefits are poor at best as a massage therapist.
The greatest challenge I have faced toward my goal of becoming a registered nurse is my dyslexia. Being a strong reader wasn’t a strong necessity for my culinary arts degree. The most important reading was of recipes, which I learned to rewrite into a simpler to read flow chart that other cooks found quite a bit more efficient than the flowery talk of many cook books. For massage school reading was more important, and I did improve out of necessity as well as developing excellent study techniques. I continue to read now for pleasure and at an acceptable pace, although still slower than average, but with diligence and strong self-motivation I have been able to get on the dean’s list at Kirkwood last semester, not because my dyslexia has gone away, but I have become wiser in using available resources provided by Kirkwood, and allocating large amounts of time to study. Consequently this has reduced the amount I can work, therefore severely reducing my income.
I am deserving of a scholarship because I have proven that I follow through on my education, and career goals. I graduated with an AA in culinary arts before and used it to see the world, I got a massage therapy diploma and used it to help individuals in my community, and now I am working on becoming a nurse, to continue helping people in need. My desire to be a nurse is a mission beyond what I have achieved so far, and I hope you will help me fund it with financial support.
Example 3:
My name is Levi Kleinmeyer and I could say, “When I grow up I want to save lives.” I want to do more than just that however, I want to be an educated and confident in my ability to keep myself and others safe while saving people who are not safe at the time. I want to be able to handle any situation that is thrown at me. I believe Kirkwood Community College’s Entry Level Firefighter program will give me that knowledge to use. My main goal would be then to work for a paid service such as Cedar Rapids Fire Department or another city like Cedar Rapids. Another goal of mine eventually is to be accepted into the Paramedic program at Kirkwood to get my paramedic certification. Eventually down the road I would maybe consider teaching these subjects to other firefighting/EMS prospects like myself. I think it would be very useful to have someone with real world experience teaching classes like Kirkwood’s instructors do already. I want to do this because I have always had a fascination with emergency medicine and firefighting. After a few months of volunteering for my local fire department I knew that firefighting/EMS was the career choice for me. Some challenges I face are time management and being too ambitious with my school work. My first semester in my senior year of high school I took 13.5 credit hours of online classes or academy classes through the Kirkwood Johnson County Regional Center. Sometimes I get in over my head with school, sports, FFA and being a volunteer at the West Branch Volunteer Fire Department but I always find a way to get it all done. I think the challenges I face are why I deserve a scholarship. I am an ambitious student and I love to learn. It would also be nice to have to not pay as much to do what I am passionate about. Scholarships would really help me with this and you could say they would be a “lifesaver.”
Example 4:
I moved to United States in November 2013 from my French speaking country Togo. Although I like my country very much, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to move to the United States to pursue my dreams. My goals for making true my desires facing issues. Some of the barriers that I have had to overcome are English (Speaking and Listening). Since 2015 I have taken advantage of the learning opportunities that Kirkwood has to offer and have completed the ELA program. After researching the needs of the Corridor community, I learned that I have a skills that can fill the community’s need for a stronger workforce in the trades.
I began pursuing a degree in welding in 2018 because I want to get quickly two years degree and start a good job as soon as possible; then I will continue at University in International Relations with my second major after two years of work experience. I am proud to say that I am a member of Kirkwood program called KPACE. I know that I can rely on KPACE and my pathway Navigator to assist me with any barriers that I am facing. I am currently on track to graduate in May 2020 with two Associate degrees: Liberal Arts and Welding at the same time. Because I am unable to work and must rely on financial aid for my family’s basic needs. A scholarship would provide my young family of three persons some stability in our finances so I can concentrate on my studies to ultimately get out in the workforce to assist area businesses and to provide for my family.
Example 5:
I am currently taking computer programming classes while still in high school which, was one of my goals as a senior to achieve so I could decide whether or not computer science was for me. As I started taking the classes, I realized that it was definitely for me. Now my goals for my career are to assist Kirkwood Community College for two years and then transfer to The University of Iowa for another two years to earn my bachelor’s degree in computer science and engineering.
One of the challenges that I have faced and had to overcome was the language barrier when I arrived to the United States, It was hard to overcome because I was shy and would not talk out loud or with other people because I thought they would make fun of me. When I started taking computer programming classes in the morning before school, I had to learn how to manage my time to complete all my school work and getting enough sleep while attending school and having to work right after. Financial needs is a challenge I am still facing and I am hoping to overcome with the degree that I will one day have.
I came to the United States at the age of 13 because my family and I had to leave my country because it was not safe for us. I came having to learn a language that I had no idea how to speak nor write. My sisters and I were raised her by a single mother and so for starters that was already a challenge because she brought us here with all she had to protect and provide us with a better lifestyle. At the age of 16, a sophomore in high school I got a job at Walmart in order to be able to help at home. I worked hard to keep my grades up. I do not believe I deserve it more than someone else, but I believe that I deserve it because I have overcome so many challenges, the ones that I mention above and others that are personal. My life has not been the easiest, but here I am a senior in high school with good grades and with dreams of one day being a computer science engineer.
Example 6:
I began my college education confused about where I wanted to go. Coming to Kirkwood has helped me to realize that I have a passion for helping others, whether it be helping my peers academically or helping the patients I take care of when I go for my shift at the hospital. I have fallen in love with the field of nursing and I hope that my passion for helping others can grow as I age. I grew up a very hard worker. I started working construction with my family at the age of 12 and have worked for everything that I have since. I moved out the day I turned 18 and started college a week later. I have always been very independent, however financing school and life has been very difficult. I work 3 jobs and go to school full time. I have had to work many long weeks and had many sleepless nights working days and trying to get ahead on my assignments at night so I never risk my grades. I will continue to work hard to maintain my grades and get to where I want to be. I plan to do great things in the future. I want to teach others, help others, and learn from others. However, I won’t be able to do any of that without some help myself. Thank you for your consideration!
Genre Analysis Questions:
Content:
- How does this essay address each of the following topics? Find quotes or specific information from the essay to support your answer.
- Education and career goals
- Leadership qualities
- Challenges and special circumstances
- Why the applicant deserves a scholarship
- Did the writer leave out any of the above topics? If so, why do you think the writer chose to leave out those topics?
- Did the writer include any additional content beyond the assigned topics? If so, why do you think the writer chose to include additional content?
Structure:
- How does the writer begin or introduce the essay?
- Is the essay divided in multiple paragraphs? If so, what are the topics of the paragraphs?
- What kinds of transitions does the writer use to move between topics in the essay?
- How does the writer end or conclude the essay?
Style:
- What kinds of sentences does the writer mostly use (simple, compound, or complex)?
- How would you describe the language that the writer uses? Does it seem like formal or informal language? How can you tell?
Evaluation:
- Why do you think the writer of this essay was selected for a scholarship?
- If you could give this writer some advice to make their scholarship essay even stronger, what advice would you give?
Critical Genre Analysis:
- Did your group’s example essay include anything about the applicant’s extracurricular activities, such as sports, musical activities, clubs, or volunteer service?
- Some students do not have extracurricular activities in their background. What circumstances or barriers prevent certain students from participating in extracurricular activities?
- If someone does not have extracurricular activities to write about, how might they address this in their scholarship essay? What other types of experiences could someone write about to show their leadership abilities and participation in the community?
Writing Your Scholarship Essay
Identify a scholarship that you want to apply for. If you’re not sure how to find a scholarship that’s relevant to you, your teacher or college’s financial aid office should be able to help. Once you have found a scholarship to apply for, carefully read the instructions for the scholarship application, and begin to write your scholarship essay. Make sure you are meeting all of the stated requirements. It is helpful to engage in peer review and to get additional feedback from more experienced writers if possible. If your college has a writing center, the tutors there can typically help you with your scholarship essays, even if they are not for a course assignment.
AI Assistance for Scholarship Essays
Generative AI can provide valuable assistance for the scholarship essay writing process. At the same time, it is important to use AI in such as way that still allows your own voice to shine through in your essay. The people who read your scholarship essay won’t know you personally, so the essay is your only chance to share who you are. You don’t want to sound like a robot.
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